It’s apparent to me that bullying is a persistent part of the human condition; my 11-year old niece reports seeing it at school and a client recently told me that she was being intimidated by some “good ole boys” at her retirement community. I spoke to the staff and am on watch to see if the situation improves. My sister and I hear stories about seniors “disinviting” a club member from social functions because the elder “smells” or “can’t play bridge the way she used to”. We try to strategize with the families who bring us these sad stories and brainstorm ways to address the situation. Each circumstance is nuanced and often times we can work around it but not with total satisfaction.
I found an article on the topic on the MSNBC website Mean Old Girls: Seniors Who Bully. It says that while much scrutiny and study has been devoted to bullying in grade school and high school these last few years, less attention has been paid to another category of bullies: those with gray hair, false teeth, hearing aids and canes. But according to experts, gray-haired bullies do exist and, as with their younger counterparts, their behavior can run the gamut from verbal intimidation to physical violence.
“It’s kind of an institutional thing,” says gerontology expert Robin Bonifas, an assistant professor at Arizona State University School of Social Work, who’s currently researching senior-to-senior bullying. “It tends to take place in senior centers or nursing homes or assisted living facilities, places where they’re spending a lot of time and need to share resources, whether it’s chairs or tables or TV stations or staff attention.”
So listen closely to what’s going on with your aging parent or loved one; bullying in its many forms can and does persist throughout all ages and you need to be prepared to creatively address it.
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Home care counselors at A WAY TO STAY Home Care are available to talk with you about your needs. A WAY TO STAY is a home care agency providing In-Home Care in Yardley.
