Sometime ago I read an article in the Wall Street Journal called How Long Should a Hug Last. The topic resonated because of my personal experience; I lost my major source of hugs with my husband’s death almost 6 years ago. I agree with the school of thought that our survival is greatly enhanced when we are “touched” on a regular basis.
Hugging babies and young children is acceptable and usually encouraged but I think we sometimes forget that our aging parents need to be touched too. When I see elders, particularly in an institutional setting, I wonder who hugs them. How do they stay connected and not feel isolated?
My 95 year old friend Claire lives in a retirement community away from most of her family and is fully aware that she must reach out verbally to touch those around her for her own mental health. She remains in close connection with her family through phone calls on a special phone with an amplifier to increase the audio so she can hear.
AT&T had a major ad campaign about reaching out and touching someone by making a long distance telephone call. The campaign was successful because it encouraged behavior that is elemental to us as humans. We are connectors and the benefits of connection are mutual.
If we believe that connection is vital to humans we have a responsibility to hire caregivers for our Home Care agency who are warm people interested in engaging (remember “touching” doesn’t need to be physical) with our clients. Engaging with a client is vital to their physical and mental health and successful caregivers don’t assume to know what a client needs without asking questions, listening actively and being highly sensitive to non-verbal communication. This is our model caregiver and how they “deliver” these personal attributes is different in each one of our employees.
Occasionally my sister Devon and I are privileged to provide care because a caregiver is unable to make a shift; we are certified nursing assistants as well as a business people. When this happens we have the opportunity to “touch” someone by finding out that client’s needs and trying to fulfill them. Doing this is a grounding experience; we are invigorated by caregiving and reminded how important it is to hire others who feel as we do.
Get goose bumps. REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE.
